Dating, always fun at first, often starts with a flurry of romantic text messages, frequent pinging of sweet sentiments, followed by in-person meetings. But more and more, it ends in silence鈥攚hen one person disappears.
The modern phenomenon known as 鈥済hosting鈥 continues to grow, yet research on this breakup trend and how it will influence people鈥檚 future relationships is scant.
In a recent study, Dr. Royette Dubar, assistant professor of psychology at Wesleyan University, and Jhanelle Oneika Thomas investigated the definition, motivation and psychological impact of ghosting in the age of social media and hypervisibility.
The qualitative study, titled 鈥淒isappearing in the Age of Hypervisibility: Definition, Context, and Perceived Psychological Consequences of Social Media Ghosting,鈥 followed 76 college students, primarily female, in focus group discussions.
From this research, social media ghosting is defined as a dissolution strategy in a platonic or romantic relationship captured by a sudden or gradual decision to cut off all online and/or in-person communication with someone without a clear explanation.
While social media is not a requirement in ghosting, it does play an integral role as it maximizes the communication within the relationship through different outlets.
Dubar and Thomas found that both the ghostee鈥攖he person being ghosted鈥攁nd the ghoster experience negative consequences from ghosting that result in internalized emotional conflict.
For ghostees, the impact primarily has come from the lack of closure in the relationship, leading them to 鈥渟piral鈥 into internalized self-deprecation and paranoia, Dubar says.
鈥淚t becomes a lot of self-doubt at first. I think a lot of personal insecurity comes out when you don鈥檛 have the answers, so you question yourself and you blame yourself,鈥 a 19-year-old female participant in the study said.
While the ghostee faces theses negative consequences, Dubar says 鈥渋t is possible for the ghostee to come out on the other side feeling more positive, more resilient and even more confident over time.鈥
After the experience, ghostees can use the opportunity to self-reflect, not 鈥渟elf-blame,鈥 and grow in terms of communication in a subsequent relationship.
Ghosters also experience negative consequences from the act, but with less positive long-term influences, the study found. After ghosting a partner, 65% of ghosters feel anxiety, awkwardness and guilt. This may vary from concerns of running into the ghostee in the future to simply hurting someone鈥檚 feelings.
鈥淔rom the ghoster鈥檚 perspective, choosing to ghost was a little bit nicer than a more blatant rejection approach,鈥 Dubar said. 鈥淚ndividuals may choose to ghost out of concern for the ghostee鈥攖hat is, to shield them from hurt feelings.鈥
The study found that emerging adults often ghosted in relationships due to a lack of interest has become common in hook-up culture and social media. Additionally, ghosters may be looking to avoid emotional intimacy that they may not be prepared for, like defining the relationship.
Reasoning aside, ghosters often believed the act 鈥済ets the message across without having to send a message at all,鈥 Dubar said. She warned that this behavior can lead ghosters to miss opportunities to develop intimacy and trust through healthy conflict, skills that will benefit them later in life.
A 20-year-old male participant speculated that ghosting could become a habitual method of ending relationships. 鈥淭hey鈥檙e so afraid of confrontation, like feeling like bad people. And I don鈥檛 think that鈥檚 healthy for them because they鈥檙e going to hurt a lot of people and it鈥檚 going to mess up their relationships.鈥
According to Dubar, the likelihood of ghosting among adolescents and young adults is concerning as they are in a time where 鈥渆stablishing relationships are very critical for predicting long-term overall adjustments and wellbeing.鈥
鈥淲hen individuals engage in ghosting, they鈥檙e almost robbing themselves, and the ghostee, of opportunities to grow, to mature and to have the hard, maybe messy, very important interpersonal labor that will ultimately reveal healthy communication and healthy relationships,鈥 Dubar said.
Throughout the study, Dubar and Thomas were hoping to discover the common persona of a ghoster, yet the two researchers discovered the opposite.
鈥淧articipants generally reported experiences from both perspectives. So, this suggests to us that this might not be very easy to come up with a clear profile of who will ghost and who will be a victim,鈥 Dubar said. 鈥淚t鈥檚 important to think about the context of a relationship more so than ghosting being limited to one particular type of person.鈥
While ghosters do not exhibit any easily identifiable traits, Dubar recommends establishing healthy boundaries and building relationships face to face to avoid ghosting.
鈥淚 think with the combination of slowly getting out of the pandemic and things going back to 鈥榥ormal,鈥 one thing that individuals can think about is the value of interpersonal relationships and what it means to development of a healthy relationship where both parties鈥 interpersonal needs are being met,鈥 she said.
Flying ghost in white sheet. Phantom terrifying, nightmare, spirit of dead. Terrible mythical creature in sheet and with black eyes. Flying ghost, phantom, spirit isolated on white background
A new TikTok trend has people freezing honey鈥攁nd it鈥檚 leaving some experts concerned.
Eating too much of the sweet stuff can cause diarrhea, stomach pain and other complications, dietitians and doctors told multiple news outlets this week.
Here鈥檚 what to know about the trend and whether it鈥檚 safe.
In the past few weeks, the social media platform TikTok has been flooded with videos that show people filling plastic bottles with honey and putting them in the freezer. Some users then squeeze out the golden, now solidified substance and sink their teeth right in.
And people can鈥檛 get enough of the short clips. As of Wednesday, tens of millions of people had viewed content with the hashtags #frozenhoney and #frozenhoney challenge.
鈥淚 actually have seen the videos, a few times,鈥 Dr. Niket Sonpal, a gastroenterologist and adjunct assistant professor at Touro College of Osteopathic Medicine in New York, told Nexstar Media Group. 鈥淎nd the minute I saw it, my first thought was, 鈥楾hat is a lot of sugar, that is a lot of honey, and that is a lot of diarrhea.鈥欌
TikTok didn鈥檛 immediately respond to McClatchy News鈥 request for comment about the trend on Thursday. Some app users in their videos said they didn鈥檛 feel well after trying frozen honey.
One concern is that people in some videos are consuming so much of the sticky substance at once. Eating large amounts from the bottle can lead to bloating, cramps and diarrhea, according to Shape magazine.
鈥淗oney is great, but having it in small amounts to sweeten is really a healthy relationship with food, and using it to get a lot of followers and a lot of attention and having it in excess amounts is crazy,鈥 Kristin Kirkpatrick, a registered dietitian at the Cleveland Clinic, told NBC News.
Another concern is that about one-third of people live with fructose intolerance, which means their intestines have trouble absorbing fructose. In those cases, ingesting too much honey can cause diarrhea and discomfort, NBC News reported.
As the honey thickens, it can also be 鈥渂rutal鈥 on your mouth, creating a risk for breaking teeth or causing decay, according to Health and other media outlets.
Another thing parents should consider is that children under 1 should never eat honey due to the rare threat of botulism.
For adults, experts say the bottom line is it should be OK to eat the frozen honey in small amounts if you don鈥檛 have diabetes.
Registered dietitian Christy Harrison told Shape she doesn鈥檛 鈥渟ee it having any long-term side effects if you鈥檙e just eating it as a tasty dessert on a hot day, and listening to your body to tell you when you鈥檝e had enough.鈥
Honey dripping from honey dipper into glass jar isolated on white. Close-up. Healthy organic thick honey
